Stress can help you operate at your best, but you need to listen to your body and learn your limits.
If you want to stay looking younger, you also need to stay calm. New research says psychological stress may be enough to age a woman's chromosomes by 10 years, as stress creates ageing free radicals in your body. Our 'fight or flight' response may have saved lives back when our ancestors needed to defend their territories, but nowadays it can kill.
If stress hormones have nowhere to go, they cause conditions such as high blood pressure, allergies, muscle tension, migraine and headaches. And stress also worsen skin complaints like acne, rosacea, eczema and psoriasis, all of which can increase skin ageing. Stressful events can also cause hair thinning, although you may not relate the two, as hair fall normally starts around 10 weeks later. Stress can also turn you onto habits that accelerate ageing, such as smoking, comfort eating and excess alcohol.
The first signs of stress show up as tiredness, anger or feeling unable to cope. Keep up the pace and physical symptoms won't be far behind, including digestive problems such as irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia and headaches. Stress hormones are also highly toxic and can trigger inflammatory conditions, including many of today's big killers; heart attacks, strokes, stomach ulcers and cancer.
Stress can also be beneficial, helping you operate at your best, but you need to listen to your body and learn your limits. The moment you start to suffer, it is time to pull back and start some serious self-care.
Dealing with stress
- Do not underestimate how food can either help or hinder your ability to deal with stress. Stimulants will overwork your adrenal glands, making you even more jittery, so cut down your intake of caffeine, sugar and alcohol. Anything that puts pressure on your digestion is also bad news, so steer clear of rich, heavy meals refined and processed foods, and eating on the run.
- Stress uses up the body's store of nutrients more quickly, so your first defence against it is a healthy diet. Add calming foods to your shopping list, such as wholewheat pasta, porridge (the perfect breakfast before a stressful day), avocado, bananas, yoghurt, turkey and potatoes. Eat smaller meals regularly to balance your blood-sugar levels, and opt for easy-to-digest meals including smoothies, soups and other sloppy foods.
- Laughter releases stress, as do getting eight hours sleep a night and regular exercise sessions. Learning how to slow down and meditate will also work like first aid on frazzled nerves.
- Complementary therapies such as aromatherapy massage, reflexology, acupuncture. flotation and hypnotherapy can all work wonders on a mind under threat. And they will help smooth frown lines, too.
- Being conscious of exactly what causes you stress can go a long way to helping you cope with it. Keep a diary and write down when you are feeling most stressed. The aim is to respond rather than react, which may mean creating a space between what is stressing you and your reaction time. Take a walk, talk to someone you trust, or speak to a professional counsellor or coach. An unbiased, outside perspective will help you see your situation more objectively, and when emotions are absent an intelligent solution is so much easier to find.
Often best ideas come when you are doing something mindless and unrelated (on the train, in the bath), which is when your unconscious mind can nudge its way forward.
Slow Down (and be More Efficient)
The faster you go through life, the sooner the game is over. Just because everyone else is rushing does not mean you have to. Slow down and you might find you achieve more, too.
Listen for longer
In today's high-speed society it is tempting to interrupt and make snap decisions to save time. Neither of these will make the other person feel heard. Letting them have their say will give you more information so you can then make a better decision, plus the other person is more likely to be more positive towards your suggestions in the future. Learn to listen three times better than you do now and you will be amazed how well others respond.
Listen to your truth
Feeling the need to come up with an answer immediately is a massive pressure, so get comfortable with not always knowing right now. After all, why should you? Being confident enough to say 'I do not know' is very attractive. Then you can go away and research the right answer rather than having to stick with the first thing that springs to mind. And the same thing applies the next time someone asks for a favour - pause and think what feels right for you before you say yes.
Listen to your (and others') mistakes
At the end of each day, take a little time to reflect on what you have learnt. Making mistakes simply means you can do it better next time, with more skill and in less time. And do not just learn from your own. The most successful people have learnt lessons by watching others - at a fraction of the cost.
Listen to your unconscious
If you tend to react fast, invent a buffer such as 'That is interesting, let me think it over', and then allow yourself time to do just that. Often your best idea come when you are doing something completely mindless and unrelated (on the train, in the bath), which is when your conscious mind can nudge its way forward. Or get in touch with your intuition by softening your gaze into peripheral vision mode. Deferring judgement often leads to a better, faster solution in the end.
Listen to your thoughts
It is important to allow yourself a break and simply watch your mind do its thing without trying to control the pace. This helps you detach yourself from the millions of thoughts you have each day, so you can see what is valid and what is not. Give yourself at least 15 minutes a day to sit and do absolutely nothing but watch your thoughts go by. It is not only deeply relaxing, but can be very productive too (see above). If your internal dialogue threatens to overwhelm, simply close your eyes and make a 'ssshhh' sound as though you are trying to lull a baby back to sleep. It will have the same quieting effect on your chattering brain.
Give yourself More Time (in Every Sense)
We all have the same hours in a day we have always had, so why are we so busy? New technology saves us time, but we simply use what time we gain to cram more work in. The consequences of constantly racing against the clock include everything from skin and digestive problems to an early grave. If your time is flying, here is how to be the pilot.
Get up early
The simplest way to gain more time! Set the alarm half an hour earlier and see how much less frantic mornings can be.
Start as you mean to go on
Ditch the headless chicken act and think before you start the day. It is so easy to get caught up doing the wrong things, but if you are clear about your priorities before you begin, then you may end up doing less - but you will do the right things. The most important choice we can make in our lives is what we choose to make important. What are your biggest priorities? Write them down and refuse to get sidetracked until they are successfully completed. Scared you will forget the rest? They can go on your 'some other day' list.
Make new technology work for you
Take the time to learn how to use new technology and exploit what it can do. Internet shopping and banking save you from time-wasting queues, paying bills and managing accounts online save you from call-centre hell, and text messages save you from getting tied up in a long conversation when you have got other things to do.
Be ready for a time windfall
If you do get stuck in a queue, think of is as 'found time'. Practise what you are going to say in tomorrow's meeting, or to a difficult relative. Make the most of travel time by writing letters on the train or catching up on (hands-free) phone calls in a traffic jam. Carry a notebook with you so when you are hanging around with nothing to do you can plan your next dinner party or simply ponder your life. Nothing takes the busy-ness out of your brain faster than writing down your thoughts. Why? Everything looks so much more manageable on paper. Or just daydream - it is good for your health.
Relaxing is not the same as collapsing - it is simply time to switch off and regain your sanity. If you cannot see another way, ask a friend who may see things differently.
Know what works best for you
Are you a morning person who can accomplish a full day's work by lunchtime? Then get your head down first thing and ask colleagues not to disturb you. Do you come to life in the evening? If so, do not stress about your natural slow start and know that you can catch up later when the early birds are falling asleep on the sofa.
Do not be a slave to your schedule
You control your time, not the other way round, How many hours this week have you spent on 'empty' activities - TV? Complaining? What could you cut back on? Only watch programmes you are really interested in? Focus on the good stuff in your life rather than moaning about the rest? And what about how other people misuse your time - listening to friends' problems, running errands for family members? What can you delegate or outsource? When do you need to say no? This little word is the greatest time-saver ever invented, and is totally justified when what you are being asked to do is less important to you than what you had already planned.
Change your perspective
Are you really overwhelmed, or do you secretly enjoying playing the martyr? Today is 'more is better' culture tells us that doing nothing is lazy, so we cram our lives full of activity. But relaxing is not the same as collapsing - it is simply time to switch off and regain your sanity. If you cannot see another way, ask a friend or professional who may be able to see things differently.
LAST WORD: THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT GETTING OLDER
There is never been a better time to get old. For centuries being old meant poverty and worse (menopausal women in the 17th century were said to cause grass to dry up and trees to die!). If it is the best time in history to be old, why are we all so worried about it?
How happy we feel about each birthday depends very much on the beliefs we have about getting older. Do you see it as all downhill from here on? Do you believe your best years have already happened? If so, you had better develop a more positive attitude towards ageing, because it is going to happen to you - if you are lucky.
Are you frightened of getting older?
Take the fear of ageing away with some preventive work. What are you doing now (a healthy diet, exercise, savings) to ensure yourself a great future?
How are you using your age as an excuse?
What are you not doing for fear of looking foolish or failing (going back to college, learning to snowboard, taking a long-overdue 'gap' year off)? What would you do if you decided to admit your fear, but do it anyway?
Do you cling to memories of your 'glory years'?
If so, list all the ways in which your life is better now than it was 10 years ago.
Does the exciting part of your life seem over?
Then take time to list all the things you had like to do in the next 10 years and start to get at least three projects up and running as soon as possible.
Chances are it is not time you are afraid of, but change. Accept that nothing lasts forever and you will find it far easier to enjoy what is going on at any age. You may have had firmer thighs 10 years ago, but you were probably too busy obsessing about something else you did not like to appreciate them. So stop focusing on getting older, and concentrate on getting wiser. Time was when we believed the brain decayed with age, but research now says that staying mentally active causes the brain to sprout new connections between nerve cells. This means you create your brain from the input you get - plus 'growing' your brain by learning new things all your life is the best way to avoid diseases such as Alzheimer's and strokes.
The truth is, most of us feel more at home with ourselves as we get older. You have made yourself who you are and, if life is good , that is better than being any angst-ridden youth. And if it is not, now is the time to get smarter. It is easy to gain wisdom as you age if you consider your part in why events happened in your life and learn from those experiences. Age also gives you the confidence to see your priorities more clearly and do exactly what you want. If not, what are you saving your best self for? The older you get, the healthier you have been, which in itself is a cause to celebrate. Perhaps it is time to grow young at 40 (or 50). Your lips may be slightly thinner, but your smile can be twice as wide.
We all have the same hours in a day we have always had, so why are we so busy? New technology saves us time, but we simply use what time we gain to cram more work in. The consequences of constantly racing against the clock include everything from skin and digestive problems to an early grave. If your time is flying, here is how to be the pilot.
Get up early
The simplest way to gain more time! Set the alarm half an hour earlier and see how much less frantic mornings can be.
Start as you mean to go on
Ditch the headless chicken act and think before you start the day. It is so easy to get caught up doing the wrong things, but if you are clear about your priorities before you begin, then you may end up doing less - but you will do the right things. The most important choice we can make in our lives is what we choose to make important. What are your biggest priorities? Write them down and refuse to get sidetracked until they are successfully completed. Scared you will forget the rest? They can go on your 'some other day' list.
Make new technology work for you
Take the time to learn how to use new technology and exploit what it can do. Internet shopping and banking save you from time-wasting queues, paying bills and managing accounts online save you from call-centre hell, and text messages save you from getting tied up in a long conversation when you have got other things to do.
Be ready for a time windfall
If you do get stuck in a queue, think of is as 'found time'. Practise what you are going to say in tomorrow's meeting, or to a difficult relative. Make the most of travel time by writing letters on the train or catching up on (hands-free) phone calls in a traffic jam. Carry a notebook with you so when you are hanging around with nothing to do you can plan your next dinner party or simply ponder your life. Nothing takes the busy-ness out of your brain faster than writing down your thoughts. Why? Everything looks so much more manageable on paper. Or just daydream - it is good for your health.
Relaxing is not the same as collapsing - it is simply time to switch off and regain your sanity. If you cannot see another way, ask a friend who may see things differently.
Know what works best for you
Are you a morning person who can accomplish a full day's work by lunchtime? Then get your head down first thing and ask colleagues not to disturb you. Do you come to life in the evening? If so, do not stress about your natural slow start and know that you can catch up later when the early birds are falling asleep on the sofa.
Do not be a slave to your schedule
You control your time, not the other way round, How many hours this week have you spent on 'empty' activities - TV? Complaining? What could you cut back on? Only watch programmes you are really interested in? Focus on the good stuff in your life rather than moaning about the rest? And what about how other people misuse your time - listening to friends' problems, running errands for family members? What can you delegate or outsource? When do you need to say no? This little word is the greatest time-saver ever invented, and is totally justified when what you are being asked to do is less important to you than what you had already planned.
Change your perspective
Are you really overwhelmed, or do you secretly enjoying playing the martyr? Today is 'more is better' culture tells us that doing nothing is lazy, so we cram our lives full of activity. But relaxing is not the same as collapsing - it is simply time to switch off and regain your sanity. If you cannot see another way, ask a friend or professional who may be able to see things differently.
LAST WORD: THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT GETTING OLDER
There is never been a better time to get old. For centuries being old meant poverty and worse (menopausal women in the 17th century were said to cause grass to dry up and trees to die!). If it is the best time in history to be old, why are we all so worried about it?
How happy we feel about each birthday depends very much on the beliefs we have about getting older. Do you see it as all downhill from here on? Do you believe your best years have already happened? If so, you had better develop a more positive attitude towards ageing, because it is going to happen to you - if you are lucky.
Are you frightened of getting older?
Take the fear of ageing away with some preventive work. What are you doing now (a healthy diet, exercise, savings) to ensure yourself a great future?
How are you using your age as an excuse?
What are you not doing for fear of looking foolish or failing (going back to college, learning to snowboard, taking a long-overdue 'gap' year off)? What would you do if you decided to admit your fear, but do it anyway?
Do you cling to memories of your 'glory years'?
If so, list all the ways in which your life is better now than it was 10 years ago.
Does the exciting part of your life seem over?
Then take time to list all the things you had like to do in the next 10 years and start to get at least three projects up and running as soon as possible.
Chances are it is not time you are afraid of, but change. Accept that nothing lasts forever and you will find it far easier to enjoy what is going on at any age. You may have had firmer thighs 10 years ago, but you were probably too busy obsessing about something else you did not like to appreciate them. So stop focusing on getting older, and concentrate on getting wiser. Time was when we believed the brain decayed with age, but research now says that staying mentally active causes the brain to sprout new connections between nerve cells. This means you create your brain from the input you get - plus 'growing' your brain by learning new things all your life is the best way to avoid diseases such as Alzheimer's and strokes.
The truth is, most of us feel more at home with ourselves as we get older. You have made yourself who you are and, if life is good , that is better than being any angst-ridden youth. And if it is not, now is the time to get smarter. It is easy to gain wisdom as you age if you consider your part in why events happened in your life and learn from those experiences. Age also gives you the confidence to see your priorities more clearly and do exactly what you want. If not, what are you saving your best self for? The older you get, the healthier you have been, which in itself is a cause to celebrate. Perhaps it is time to grow young at 40 (or 50). Your lips may be slightly thinner, but your smile can be twice as wide.
Fear less, hope more
Whine less, breathe more
Talk less, say more
Hate less, love more
And all good things are yours
SWEDISH PROVERB
SWEDISH PROVERB
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